Tag Archives: Remission

Life is Good, But Different

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I’ve been meaning to write an update, but have waited until I found a good topic to write about. Also, now that I’m no longer pregnant and in remission, I’m figuring out how to transition this blog to be more about survivorship. And then being a mom of two makes it hard to have much free time!

Three Months Out

It’s been three months since my last chemo and life has been changing so much. I’ve been back at work for 2 months and getting used to the working mom life. Roberto’s at home on paternity leave which has been a great transition for our family with one parent still at home to help take care of the household. Kudos to companies that offer dads paid paternity leave! Roberto has gotten to spend some precious time bonding with Joel.

My miracle baby

Most importantly, I had my first follow-up scan. I’m still in remission! For my type of cancer, primary mediastinal large B cell lymphoma, the risk of recurrence is generally pretty low, but if it does happen the risk is greatest the first year. After the first year, the risk of recurrence drops significantly (less than 10%, my doctors say).

We had a big celebration earlier this month to celebrate me finishing cancer treatment and being in remission. It was also a way to thank the many people who supported us the last few months.

Celebrating life!

Just Like Everyone Said, My Hair Would Come Back

My hair is growing back so fast! It’s in an awkward stage right now where it’s very full on the sides and back, and not so full on the top. I credit my quick hair grown to eating lots of eggs and almonds which are rich in biotin.

My hair regrowth over the last 3 months

When I was going through treatment, it was winter time and cold so I had a collection of wool hats in neutral colors to wear and keep my head warm. I was working from home anyway, so no one really saw me. As the season changed to spring, I started wearing scarves and baseball caps instead since it was getting warmer. I was at home on maternity leave, so I could dress casually each day. But then I went back to work, where the dress code is business casual. It was a lot of effort to get dressed each day with a coordinating scarf. And then summer in Houston happened and it’s insanely hot to have anything on your head. So at the end of June, I got a hair trim to even out my hair length and then stopped wearing any sort of head cover.

It’s been so much easier getting dressed everyday and not having to worry about coordinating a scarf. It’s also way less hot being without a head cover. My hair is still growing in and I’m thinking that in August I’ll be able to have a more shaped haircut!

I wonder if people look at me funny or stare when they see me now with my current hair. It’s a hairstyle that really no woman would voluntarily have. There was an occasion at work recently when I met someone new. They only saw me as the person that appeared in front of them at that moment and knew nothing about my last 6 months. As I left the meeting, I wondered if they thought I had a weird haircut or thought I looked unattractive. I felt a little ashamed.

I know I shouldn’t feel ashamed. I should be proud of everything I went through and that I’m still standing. There are so many people who go through cancer and aren’t ‘still standing’ in the end. I had that chance and I think most people would easily choose a bad haircut in order to get a second chance at life. I always have the remind myself that these temporary things are a small blip in the grand scheme.

A New Me

I had written before how cancer had changed me as a person on the inside. Now I am starting to understand how I’m also a different person now physically. I was a little naive to think that after cancer, I’d physically go back to being the same healthy young adult. While I still consider myself healthy, my body isn’t the same anymore.

I’ve got chemo brain and have become a little forgetful. I had an amazing, sharp memory before. Now, I catch myself being a little more absent minded. I’ve tried to help this by keeping to do lists (I never really had to do this before – I used to remember everything!).

I also got a cold twice since finishing chemo. My first cold I ended up with congestion for over 2 weeks. My second cold hit me hard. I had a fever up to 104 and lots of coughing and congestion. Roberto reminds me that I had crazy drugs in me (chemo) that nearly wiped out my immune system, so I can’t expect my immune system to be the same as it was before.

Sharing My Story

It’s been important for me to share my story. I hope it gives hope to others going through something similar. I’ve had the honor of having my story shared recently on a few websites:

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.” – Iyanla Vanzant

REMISSION!, Chemo #5 & Radiation

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I mentioned in my previous post that because I’m no longer pregnant, my doctors would be able to fully treat me without holding back. I finally had my first PET scan on Monday and I went in expecting the worst so I wouldn’t be disappointed. I thought I would have progress on my mass shrinking, but I expected my oncologist to change my regimen to something more intense. To my complete shock, it came up negative for cancer cells. This means after four chemo treatments, I am in REMISSION!

This is not the end of my cancer journey though. I still have to finish my remaining chemo treatments (had treatment #5 on Wednesday and the the sixth and last one is the first week of April) and as well as have radiation. This will help reduce the chances of the cancer returning. But knowing I’m in remission is amazing, motivating news that a huge milestone has been met. Roberto and I wept when we received the news and are still in complete shock.

Chemo #5 (Singing this to the tune of Mambo #5)

My oncologist informed me we will not be changing my chemo regimen. There wasn’t enough information to know if changing the regimen would prove to be beneficial, so we would continue with R-CHOP. I’m finally able to have chemo done outpatient now, so I can get the whole infusion in a day and sleep in my own bed at night! Leading up to this, I feared changing my regimen as it would have been 5 day regimen done inpatient that would keep me away from my newborn and family.

I had my treatment on Wednesday. Overall, getting R-CHOP done post pregnancy and outpatient was fortunately uneventful. I had no reactions to the drugs and I was done in 6.5 hours. It’s hard to believe I only have one more chemo treatment to go after this. Last treatment is April 5!

My mass has shrunk from 16cm down to 4cm after 4 chemo treatments. The remaining 4cm is assumed to be dead cells since the PET scan came up negative for cancer cells. One of the doctors showed me my CT scan from when I was initially diagnosed. The mass was huge, taking up space between my heart and lungs, wrapping itself around airways and blood vessels. It grew aggressively and quickly. I’m fortunate I did not pass out or have something worse happen due to lack of oxygen or blood to my body.

Radiation

After I’m done with all 6 chemo treatments, I will start radiation. This is probably set to start around the end of April and finish sometime in May. have a consultation with radiation oncology once I’m done with chemo to learn more. I hope to be done before my maternity leave is over at the end of May.

Family Life

Joel has been a very easy baby. He sleeps a lot and eats well. This has made the transition to 2 kids easier because he doesn’t demand too much attention (yet). Maybe I’m more relaxed because he’s not the first baby. Camila is still warming up to him. She likes to touch his feet and bring him toys. She’s okay with me holding Joel but got jealous when Roberto held him.

Top row is Camila and bottom row is Joel.

Prayers Answered

There have been dozens, if not hundreds, of people praying, thinking, rooting and sending their positive vibes to me and Joel. People I don’t even know and have never met were hoping for Joel’s healthy birth and that I overcome cancer. I’m so grateful for all this support. There was a moment last week when Roberto and I felt defeated. We wanted all this to be over. Although we are not done, some of our prayers have been answered and it gives us hope to continue. I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. My cancer journey isn’t over yet but I have a healthy baby and the wonderful news that I’m in remission!